So far in this series, we’ve looked at detoxification from a strictly physical perspective. But when it comes to health, social and emotional toxins can be just as damaging as their physical counterparts. Stress has very real (and sometimes seriously negative) impacts on the body. For instance, did you know that you can actually die from a broken heart? Or that your body can turn overwhelming mental and emotional stress into real, debilitating physical symptoms through a condition called Conversion Disorder?
Although there’s some disagreement on the current national divorce rate, and people are forever arguing about how to best calculate the unemployment rate, agreement is pretty universal that they’re both way too kriffing* high. It’s not just adults staggering under the weight of social, occupational, and interpersonal tensions either – the American Institute of Cognitive Therapy claims that “the average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950’s.” Yikes!
Thankfully, it’s not all bad news. The interwebs abound with resources that can help you diffuse relationship tension and detox your interpersonal environment. While I can’t possibly touch on them all here, I’m going to share with you a few of my favorites.
No lie, this book changed my life. It completely re-oriented my perspective on why people I loved did what they did – and, for that matter, why I was doing things the way I was. For some people, implementing the truths you uncover might be blessedly quick and easy. For others (like me), it might be a practice that takes years to fully live up to. Either way, it’s not to be missed!
There’s no getting around the reality that money is a HUGE source of strife in relationships of all kinds. (70% of all divorces are over money!) But if you’ve ever tried to have a calm discussion about money with a friend, sibling, parent, spouse – or anyone else! – you probably know just how hard it can be to find common ground, even when you’re both smart, responsible adults! Like Love Languages, though, figuring out your money personalities can be eye-opening and set up a clear path to better, less stressful interactions over this contentious (but unavoidable) issue. The book is a quick read, but you can also jump straight to the free online money personality assessment to get started.
#3: Daring Greatly
Have you ever heard the phrase “ouch and amen”? That’s pretty much the best description of this masterpiece by Brene Brown. A shame researcher, Brene Brown has spent years digging deep into the realities of shame, worthiness, vulnerability and wholehearted living. Check out her TED talks here and here for a sneak peak, but DO NOT miss out on her books! They will change you, and how you approach the people, relationships, and stresses in your life for the better – promise! (Bonus: Brown recently launched COURAGEworks – “an online learning community that offers eCourses, workshops, and interviews for anyone who is ready for braver living, loving, and leading.”)
Obviously, there are a lot of different ways relationships can be toxic and many, many different reasons why they end up that way. These resources are just suggestions to get you started exploring the hows and whys of your own relationship challenges, but they’re just the tip of the iceberg.
What/Who are your favorite resources, tools or experts for detoxing relationships?
*I am a huge fan of using science fiction curses over traditional swear words. Kriffing happens to be from the Star Wars universe. You can find other fun SW curse words here.